Esmée Jakubowski

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Everyone I’ve spoken to has said our title is sexy, but I guess I already knew that in a way. Although I completely agree with their opinion, I do wonder why. It might be because of the French, since there isn’t anything too sexy about being lost. Actually, I think, that even though “getting lost” by itself isn’t sexy, and that the French language on its own doesn’t have to be found sexy by everyone (but maybe it turns you on completely), it doesn't have to be: maybe, what makes the title sexy is actually not losing the quality of being sexy, while its meaning on its own isn't sexy at all. Assuming you don’t have a fetish for hide and seek. But that’s one way of putting it. It's a mystery I think. We can add it to the list of vague terminology and bullshit that creatives love to use. Getting lost sucks but it’s hot. Maybe even considered a trendy theme. I once cried for what felt like a lifetime when I lost my mum in the supermarket. Honestly, I just gave up on her. Have you ever sat down and cried next to the canned foods? I did. But I didn’t find the courage to cross the river of fruits and vegetables which were located just behind the mountains of loaf. I just never found my mom. This experience allows me to be a real artist in my work these days. You’ve got to indulge in trauma every now and then you know. At one point I just submitted and crawled into a ball like the foetus I am. You might wonder if I managed to find my mom in the end, right? Yes, she was in the next aisle picking up the milk - but that is beside the point, I was feeling feeble and helpless. Asking myself how long it took me to feel helpless behind those garbanzo beans, I realized this question on its own could be used several points throughout my life, but anytime it could be of use I believed that I've overcome helplessness. I was a stubborn, pathetic child. So, I never admitted it, but I've felt like a corps perdu many times in my life; in those situations, I felt helpless immediately, but I think I've rarely embraced it. Without treating this like a therapy session, to be comfortable being lost takes a lot of security and confidence, I think. So, now you’re probably going to tell me that I maybe should lose my mom on purpose in the supermarket tomorrow. To be honest with you, I’m still there. It was weird at first, but getting lost in the supermarket for 20 years is all I know. Would I consider “getting lost at the supermarket for the past 20 years” a trauma? I cannot tell. But I do enjoy this metaphor. So, let me just continue.

‘Supermarket’. Yes. A Supermarket of Lost Bodies. And since you are what you eat, it makes perfect sense. A zombie playground of children without mothers navigating their way through the maze of a one-way system. Trapped in cages of *winkelwagens*. One shoved in the freezer. One discusses endlessly their choice of cigarettes with their demons in front of the information desk, a decision that will never be made against an urge that expands every second. With the self-scan as a final self-test. Yes: a final judgement of your value — Like St. Peter’s gate. — Exactly. But instead of Peter you are met with an ominous voice telling you there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area. I’ve lost my mom at the supermarket when I was about four years old and now I study *graphic design*. And now we just like to identify ourselves with what's in our grocery bag, because even though we are lost, it does matter if others know you follow a KETO diet. I’m lactose intolerant which means I hate web design. I’m vegan so my work is made exclusively with analogue techniques. It’s almost like the more obviously complicated the food choices you make become, the more “elite” you seem to be in the supermarket. While it's just food, you know — maybe it's just an agency thing, when you feel like everything in the rest of your life controls you, you can at least control how high you put the barrier for yourself within your cooking project. We all set our barriers at different heights too and it depends on what we need or our skills for a specific recepie. I hate to go back to our supermarket but, it’s like the wine section— Don’t you have a hate and love relationship with that area? Second draft introduction text ‘A Corpse Perdu’ —Bottom shelf, not great quality but it will do a job if you’re looking to get drunk. Somewhere in the middle, starting to get more refined flavours and new levels: probably won’t throw up afterward. Top shelf - the date night shit - complex and more to understand, it goes beyond the label and first taste. And usually it has a good story and if you're lucky it doesn't leave you with a headache. And, depending on how confident we are in ourselves and our work or skill set, we set our barriers at different shelves on the wine rack. But then there's the next "level" and, there, things become interesting. You go to a wine shop. Yes. Because then there's also the options in retailers, and all these exotic wines, even if you go there— Some of us want that bespoke oak barrelled vintage from Italy’s finest vineyards —You also have to impress the person you're drinking with, but maybe they don't give a shit about wine. Yes, you swirl the glass and sniff like you know what it means: exactly. I just happened to know that 2019 is apparently a great year - only for wine I’m guessing? Maybe we are the 2021 vintage, a good year of designers/thinkers/makers/creatives; a good year of lost bodies. So, maybe consider this a grocery list of the finest wines, cheeses, freshly baked *sourdough breads* that 2021 had to offer. Groceries that took 10 weeks to curate -that is some serious meal prepping, if you ask me- nothing would be worse than this being the editorial equivalent of shopping when you’re hungry. This is a refined selection of work that spans topics of perception & experience, culture and the human body